Weigh in & Weekly Goals

Weight Last Week: 260.4

Weight this week: 258.4

2 pounds LOST this week

Lowest Weight Recorded: 232.2 on 4/22/12

71 pounds lost since June 2010

Despite a stressful week, and having an unexpected trip to St. Louis Thurs - Mon, I managed to go back down the 2 pounds I gained last week. I was feeling good towards the end of the weekend about how I handled what I was eating at home, so I would be lying if I said I didn't expect to see a little more lost. But ultimately I'm happy with the results.

As far as my weekly goals, they didn't happen how I wanted them to. But I'm trying to limit the guilt about it.

- Drink at least 64 oz of water a day - This I accomplished. Yay!

- Go to the gym/exercise 4 times a week - Nope. Not even close. I went to yoga Monday, and kind of forgot about the gym the rest of the week. I did take my nieces for a wagon ride on Friday so I'm counting hauling 60+ pounds up and down the hills in my sister's neighborhood as a workout.

- Do my PT exercises EVERY DAY (no excuses) - Failed here big time.

Nieces in the wagon ready to go!

At last week's body baggage meeting I made it my goal to not eat any crackers and chips (except Wasa) because these items can sometimes be a trigger for me. I am PROUD to say, I am still cracker/chip free. I didn't even have my Wasas with me in St. Louis, so I went 5 days chip/cracker  free. I am especially proud of myself considering both my mom AND my sister have a WHOLE SHELF in their respective pantries full of chips, pretzels, Goldfish (my fave!), etc.

I also didn't eat any horrible fast food on my way to/from St. Louis. I had a 6" ham sandwich with mustard from Subway on the way there and yesterday I had a grilled chicken sandwich, no mayo from McDonald's on the way back to Nashville. I even skipped the fries.

All this to say, I haven't been perfect. I had a few beers Saturday night, I had ice cream twice, and caved to the peanut butter M&Ms among a few other sweets throughout the weekend. But the good choices I did make, made me proud. Progress not perfection, eh?

So this week I'm just trying to recover from a busy/emotional weekend and staying in the saddle. I'm committed to no chips/crackers for 1 more week (at least) and I've already been to the gym once this week (last night). I'd like to go at least twice more, and then go join the Y on Saturday morning so I can start spinning/swimming for my upcoming Triathlon on May 18th.

So, this week's goals will be:
- drink 64 oz of water (got this down, I think)
- limit sugar as much as possible
- Gym 4 x this week
- PT exercises EVERY DAY (just do it every night before bed, Emily!)

Let's do this. I hope you have a great week!

Ankle Update - Still Plugging Along

I haven't fully discussed it on the blog yet, but while I was in New Orleans, on Jan. 2nd, I rolled and sprained my ankle.

It's happened before.

I kind of shook it off at first, it happened the night before we left NOLA and I was walking pretty slow, but the pain went away pretty quickly.

The swelling and bruising did not.

So a few days after the incident I went to the orthopedic doctor I've seen before for my ankle and had an x-ray. It didn't show any fracture (thank goodness), but he reiterated what he told me in 2010 - arthritis in my ankle due to (a life full of) previous injuries. There are also some bone spurs in various parts of my joint - the most concerning is one at the point on the top of my ankle where the leg meets the foot. It's limiting my range of motion - and could be affecting my ability to run with correct form.

So, I've been doing PT for 3 weeks and I'm already getting stronger.

At the onset my hips were weak, along with the weak ankle, and they therapist wouldn't clear me to even walk on the treadmill for the first 2 weeks. I was cleared to walk for exercise this week.

Unfortunately, running won't come until I get more range of motion back in my ankle, and it's frustrating. It will probably be another 4-6 weeks.

Of course, now that I *can't* run, I *want* to run. I was so burnt out at the end of the year, I was perfectly content going to the gym and walk on the treadmill. I've been itching to take off on a run for the last two weeks. Not only because Triathlon training is scheduled to start in 6 days, but because I am anxious to lose this holiday weight and I know running ramps up my metabolism.

I'm trying to be patient. As of Feb. 1 I'll be back at the Y and that means back to swimming and spinning. That should be enough for right now.

My first Tri of the season is May 18th. Just 16 short weeks away!

It will be here before I know it.

Weigh in & Weekly Goals

Weight Last Week: 258.6

Weight this week: 260.4

1.8 pounds GAINED this week

Lowest Weight Recorded: 232.2 on 4/22/12

69 pounds lost since June 2010

I had a terrible few days at the end of last week, including the weekend. Hello binging and overeating galore. I'm trying to move on and look at the positives (Like being down ~4 lbs from the highest after holiday weigh in [not recorded]).

And how about those goals I made last week?

- Do my PT exercises every day - I didn't do the whole routine 4 out of 7 days (I know, yikes), but on some of those days I did *some* of the exercises

- Eat 2,000 calories a day, focusing on vegetables - I don't think I stayed within 2,000 any day this week (hence why I gained).

- Go to the gym/exercise at least 3 times a week - Did it! I did yoga Monday, stationary bike Weds and rode my bike outside Saturday.

The good news is I've been cleared to walk for exercise again, so yipee! And my goals this week:

- Drink at least 64 oz of water a day
- Go to the gym/exercise 4 times a week
- Do my PT exercises EVERY DAY (no excuses)

Of course, I want my nutrition to be under 2,000 cal a day. But since I keep failing at that goal I need to examine what exactly is sabotaging me. I may try another food related goal next week.

Have a good week everyone!

A Little Joy Ride

Until yesterday, Nashville hadn't seen the sun in 9 days. It was agony. The days were cloudy and rainy and cold. The trifecta of winter here in the south. We've been so spoiled this year, the extended period of missing sunlight really had me down.

When I checked the weather forecast for this weekend I was extremely giddy to see it was going to be 55 and sunny today.

Excited for 55 degrees? Yes. I was.

I haven't been able to do anything except be on a bike the last 2 1/2 weeks because I sprained my right ankle on Jan. 2nd.

Happy New Year to me!

So, I knew I could get out on my dusty old bike I haven't ridden since the early fall and take a short jaunt on the greenway near my house. The greenway had it's own plans.

Flooded. In 3 separate places. And considering the trail to get around was super muddy going around the first two floods. I didn't attempt the 3rd.

I still got in about 40 minutes of riding by circling back and going out to the road and riding through a neighborhood.

I don't know when I'll be able to run again, but if I could get a day like this in every week. I'd probably stay pretty content for a few more weeks at least.

Weigh in - Starting Over & Weekly Goals

Weight on 11/26/12: 246.6

Weight this week: 258.6

12 pounds GAINED this week

Lowest Weight Recorded: 232.2 on 4/22/12

70.8 pounds lost since June 2010


Well, here it is. The "honesty" post fessing up to how much weight I gained at the end of 2012. In full disclosure, my weight the day after returning from my New Year's trip to New Orleans was 264, so I've managed to lost about 6 pounds in the last  9 days.

So, where do I go from here?

Last week at the Body Baggage for Misfits group, I made the goal to lose 20 lbs by March 31st. I'm counting today's weight was my "weigh-in" weight. So by March 31st I'll be at least 238. (Secretly, I'd like to be in the 220s by my beach trip at the end of April so I'm aiming to lose the first 20 faster.)

To help I'll be making small, weekly goals really focusing on where I am struggling.

- Do my PT exercises every day (more to come about this tomorrow)
- Eat 2,000 calories a day, focusing on vegetables
- Go to the gym at least 3 times a week

That's what I'm starting with. Basic stuff. It should be easy, right?

Ready to move forward

*pushes dust aside*

Well, it seems I took an unintentional hiatus from blogging over the holidays. I posted the Wednesday before my 4th half marathon for 2012 and POOF the year was over. I also haven't weighed-in in over 6 weeks.

But you know what? It's ok.

I was really struggling at the end of the year. Overeating at the beginning of November during my mom's visit turned into overeating at Thanksgiving, which rolled right along into Christmas and the New Year.

The last few months have been a struggle mentally for me. The holiday season began with me having not lost any weight in well over 14 months. I began finding myself unable to control my eating habits either by what I was eating or how much. It was a vicious cycle. I would eat a handful of candy at work and then feel guilty so then I'd say, "fuck it" and go back for another handful. "I'm not losing weight anyway, so I might as well." I would think to myself.

For the last several months I've been meeting up with a lovely group of ladies every other week where we talk about food, body image, emotional health, exercise, and personal goal-setting. At our last meeting before the holidays I had an epiphany of sorts.

I realized, through discussion of the group, that I was carrying around so. much. guilt. Guilt from not losing weight in over 14 months, guilt from my weight slowly creeping up, guilt from not being able to control myself with food, guilt from indulging in the office goodies, guilt about everything having to do with my own personal health and fitness journey.

The next day I woke up, let go all of the guilt, and vowed to just live my life during the last 3 weeks of 2012.

So I did.

Did I gain more weight? You bet I did. More than I ever could have imagined. And I'm trying to continue not to have any guilt about that.

It is what it is and I know how to change it.

This process of releasing the guilt and gaining back some of the weight I've lost is an important (dare I say it) milestone in my journey. As judgmental as it is, I've always had a hard time understanding people who lose a large amount of weight, only to gain it back. Now I understand how easy it is to revert back to old habits.

I also understand that these extra 20 pounds make me feel utterly uncomfortable and I'm not going to let myself stay this way. I'm ready to continue to transform myself into the healthiest possible version of myself. I'm ready to find a way to be comfortable in my own skin, with the body that I have.

And I'm ready to move forward.