Friday, March 4, 2011

Vulnerability

Vulnerability.

I've been thinking a lot lately about when and why we let ourselves be vulnerable. For the last several weeks, for a variety of different reasons related to weight loss and not, I've been allowing myself to be very vulnerable to others.

Thinking about this made me relate it all back to my weight loss journey and think about how there is a lot to weight loss making me feel vulnerable.

Posting my weight on the Internet for friends, family, strangers, coworkers - EVERYONE to see. This means practically everyone in my life knows my weight. They know when I gain weight. They know when I lose weight. It leaves me vulnerable.

Sharing old pictures of me at my highest weight. Many of the people in my life now didn't know that Emily. With those pictures I was admitting I was once 355 lbs. It left me vulnerable.

I write down my random thoughts, admitting them to the world. I talk about my fears, my anxiety, my dysfunctional relationship with food. Things I've never admitted out loud, I write down for everyone to read. And that leaves me vulnerable.

The level of vulnerability I've been experiencing the last few weeks scares me to say the least, but I hope I am becoming a better person for it.

I know I suck at blogging this week. Healthy March update coming tomorrow. Weigh in Sunday and next week I hope to have some ideas in the back of my head for you.

By the way, I now have FORTY followers - FORTY! When I started this blog, I think the only person that read it was my roommate (heyyyyy KG). I thank you ALL for subscribing to read my crazy, sometimes uptight, thoughts about my weight loss journey. Y'all are the best!

4 comments:

Mrs. SE said...

I applaud your vulnerability. Wouldn't you say that starting the blog has been a great source of confidence? Along with putting yourself out there, you're also opening up to people who are sharing similar experiences and feeling the same things that you are. Cheers to the blogging community for helping us to become better versions of ourselves, inside and out.

KG said...

Heyyyyyy!

Cait said...

wow thats so great for 40 followers :) i really like your blog! xo

Brittany said...

yay! I love you and i'm so proud of you chica! <3

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