Emotional eating is something I've done for my entire life. I think many people who suffer from obesity have had their turn with emotional eating.
When I was bored? I'd find something tasty to eat - like a pair of Swiss cake rolls (or 2).
Stressed? Mad? Sad? I always turned to food.
Happy? That was an occasion for food too.
There. was. always. food.
I don't remember much from my Biggest Loser application, but I remember one specific question that said "Food is..." and let you fill in the blank. I wrote "Food is everything. When I am sad, I turn to food. Mad - there's food for that too. Even happiness is celebrated by food."
I've done pretty good over the last 15 months to control my emotional urges towards food. My only rule for overcoming this was eat when I am hungry, do something else if I'm not.
Tonight, after a stressful week at work, I wanted nothing but a trough of fried Chinese food and to sink into my couch and not talk to a soul for the whole weekend.
Check on the first part of that. (I'm working on the whole not talking to anyone thing.)
I've had a great week food wise. Despite eating that 450 calorie cookie Tuesday, my food choices overall have been good. Exercise has been great and the scale is moving.
I knew I was choosing General Tso's chicken for the wrong reasons. Sure, I wanted it because it tastes good, but what's more - the thought of eating it was comforting. Chinese food was a staple in my "past life" and the thought of a Friday night in front of the TV with Crab Rangoon sounded like the best solution as I was driving home almost in tears from the frustration of dealing with stupidity.
(Side note: If I ever win the lottery, the first thing I'm getting is a chauffeur. Seriously.)
But I digress, I don't know where I'm going with this...confession? Maybe. But I feel better talking about it. I know making this one bad choice tonight isn't going to make me gain 6 lbs overnight and somehow eating what was probably about 1,500+ calories is not really making me feel guilty.
I feel more guilty knowing I was making the wrong decision, realizing that I was turning to emotional eating and continuing to make the wrong choice.