It wasn't until this last trip that I realized how much I
have been traveling by plane lately. Since Christmas, I've been on 5 round trip flights
totaling 12 planes. It also wasn’t until this last trip that I truly
appreciated how much easier it is for me to fly being 115 pounds lighter than
my 355 pound former-self.
I’ve been attending bi-monthly gatherings with a group that
discusses body image, among other topics, and this past week someone said
something that really rang true. In not these exact words, but with the same
sentiment, “Sometimes your body stops losing for a period of time so your brain
can “catch up” inside to your new outside image.” It’s so true.
I have been bumping around in the 235-249 range for the last
9 months, but until recently I hadn’t come to terms that I can no longer hide
behind “Fat Emily” anymore, well, because I’m getting less and less fat every
day.
Of course there are lots of instances I could use as an
example, but since it’s the freshest example in my mind, let’s have a
conversation on how plane travel has changed for me over the last 4 years. And
115 pounds.
No more seat belt extenders
For those who have ever needed one of these, you know it is
the most embarrassing thing in the world to have to ask a flight attendant for
a seatbelt extender over your neighboring row-mate, who has assuredly already
realized you are encroaching on their precious seat space.
My strategy was to always whisper to the attendant at the
front of the plane upon boarding and usually they would be able to hand me one
right there. Some were empathetic about my “situation” and others gave
disapproving looks. Often, I would take the extender with me on the outbound
flight so I wouldn’t have to ask for the extender coming back and leave it on
the plane on my return. I do still have one or two extenders that never got
returned.
Exit Row Seating without Fear
Though asking for an extender on a crowded plane is
embarrassing, nothing took the embarrassing cake like the time I was kicked out
of an exit row. I was happily seated in my favored spot on the plane (long legs
unite) and asked the attendant for an extender. He promptly said if I was to
need an extender, I was not allowed to sit in the exit row because I wasn’t
“capable” of the duties that came with that coveted seat position. I was
mortified, and had to move.
Let the water flow
As a larger passenger, I would withhold from drinking
liquids before and during a flight. I refused in-flight service just to avoid
using the bathrooms on board simply because I didn’t fit. Not only could I not
comfortably urinate on a plane at 355 pounds, I hated walking down the aisle,
bumping into every person seated in the aisle as I passed by. Now, I drink so
much water by nature that I pee on just about every flight over an hour.
No Table Trouble
Not only did I need an extender at 355 pounds, I couldn’t
make use of the tray table in my seat either. My stomach was so large that it
couldn’t come down all the way. So, if I did want to get a drink, I had to hold it in my lap the whole time. Nowadays, I always use my tray table and when I
can even comfortably fully extend the tray towards me, if needed.
No Space Encroaching
I no longer worry that I am “hanging” over a seat into
someone else’s space. In fact, during recent flights *I* was the one being
encroached on (not by a larger passenger, just two jerks who were armrest
hogs). I can now confidently take my seat and know my ass or hips won’t be
sliding into the person’s seat next to me.
Don’t have to worry about bullying gate agents
With all the stories you hear through the news and social
media about larger passengers being bullied at the gate in regards to being
asked to purchase two seats, I was constantly in fear of being asked to do the
same. I would have had no recourse either. At well over 300 pounds how could I
argue I didn’t need two seats? Now, I
don’t even think about it when I approach the gate to board.
I don’t necessarily believe the old saying, “nothing tastes
as good as skinny feels.” But I have to say these small milestones of being
able to live a normal, healthy life sure do taste just as good as a red velvet
cupcake with cream cheese frosting!
2 comments:
It's always good to remember why we do this. Just started reading your blog...
I could've so written this. You are so full of awesome Em!
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