Saturday, December 31, 2011

Weigh-in - Final 2011 Weigh-in

Last Week's weight - 245.2

This Week weight - 243.0

2.2 lbs lost

I haven't weighed-in in 2 weeks since my mom doesn't own a scale. And considering all the cookies, bagels and cheese, chips, ice cream, cake, Christmas dinners (3), birthday dinners and alcohol I consumed I'm surprised I lost anything.

For the last two days, I've had controlled eating and it's amazing how much I noticed how much better I felt on my run this morning!

For tonight, I'm going to worry about having a blast for NYE and then mentally preparing for the half marathon next weekend.

I know I owe my obligatory 2011 recap and 2012 goals blog posts. I may get to them before I leave for Orlando or I may not, but eventually I'll do them!

Happy New Year to everyone!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

A Happy Birthday Indeed!

For my birthday, my lovely mother gave me something I've been coveting for awhile now...

A Garmin Forerunner!

I selected the Forerunner 405 back when Amazon had it on super sale. There are some bad reviews out on this particular model because of the bezzle feature; however, I figured I'd get used to it and figure it out.

Of course it motivated me to get off my rump and take it for a spin this afternoon. I was able to set run/walk intervals for it to beep every 1/2 mile / 1/4 mile.

It snowed last night so it was a chilly/windy run, but I loved running with my Garmin and I was pretty happy with where my pace was:

I feel blessed that I have a parent that is not only supportive of my hobby, but she is willing to buy me gadgets that she doesn't understand. I feel like this could be a new turning point in how I track future training. Happy Birthday to me!

Monday, December 26, 2011

Houndstooth Coat Winner - Marisol

I fell down on the job announcing the winner for the last item since I wasn't online much the last two days.

So, I did the random generator this morning and Marisol is the winner!

Congrats Marisol, you'll look great in this coat!

Send me your address to emtucky[at]gmail[dot]com and I'll ship out your item Friday!

Thanks to everyone who looked at the items, commented and won the giveaways - if you haven't gotten your item yet, they will all be shipped on Friday.

Friday, December 23, 2011

What will you remember about this Christmas?

I've been "home" in St. Louis for the last 36 hours and I'm not going to pretend I've been eating super healthy. But I'm having a great time so far spending time with my family, especially my 4 year old niece. Here are a few gems from our cookie making session on Wednesday night:

First, I gave her the job of unwrapping all the Hershey Kisses for the peanut butter blossoms I was making. I strongly warned her not to eat them since we had not had dinner yet. Every time I looked over at her, it looked like she was eating something. "Madelynnn," I'd say, "are you eating those? Open your mouth and show Auntie Em." And nothing would be in her mouth. After about 3 rounds of this, I saw her put her little fingers out to her mouth - she was eating the little "tips" off the Hershey Kisses! I know I shouldn't, but I couldn't help but laugh.

Then, after an expired peanut butter mishap (seriously, you find the weirdest expired crap in my mom's pantry) I was going to scoop some peanut butter in the trash can and "PLOP!" - a whole scoopful landed on my mom's just cleaned kitchen floor. My niece chimed in, "your mom is going to KILL you!"

I may feel a little guilty about wasting calories on vodka last night and eating too much at dinner, but in 10 years those moments above are what I'll remember from this Christmas. Not how I drank and ate too much or that I gained 5 pounds.

12 Days of Christmas Giveaway - Beautiful Houndstooth Winter Coat

The winner of this coat is going to be the most stylish girl on the block! Seriously, this is the best piece of clothing I've ever owned and I still love, love, love it. I even tried to make it work for me again this winter, but it clearly wasn't working on me anymore.

This is a Lane Bryant size 26/28 houndstooth, 3/4 sleeve cape-style winter coat. It has a red lining and big black buttons making for beautiful accents. It hit me (I'm 6'0") just past my knees. Since it has wide, 3/4 sleeves I wore it with long black gloves (which I incidentally lost a few years ago), but I also wore it with no gloves and it was perfectly warm. I used to get SO MANY compliments on this coat.

This beauty can now be yours. Just leave a comment by midnight tonight and I will choose a winner by I will ship this to the winner on 12/30.

Winners of black and gray sweater & winter coat - Debby and Amber!

I got a little behind yesterday so I have two winners to announce this morning!

First, the winner of the black & gray striped sweater is Debby!

Congrats Debby! Please email me your mailing address at etucky[at]gmail[dot]com.

Now, for yesterday's giveaway of the black winter coat....

Congrats Amber, you're the winner!! Please email me your mailing address to emtucky[at]gmail[dot]com.

I will mail both items out next week when I return home from my holiday travel.

Don't forget to check out today's giveaway! It is the last day of my 12 days of Christmas giveaways and I have saved the best for last!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

12 Days of Christmas Giveaway - Black Forcaster Sport Winter Coat

This was my standby winter coat. It is a size 3X Forcaster Sport brand and is black fleece. I actually had to take this out of the dry clean bag to photograph it as I haven't worn it since I had it dry cleaned at the end of winter last year.

It offers a fleece-lined hood and the cuffs can either be worn rolled up or down (I always wore them rolled down because I have freakishly long arms). The lining of one of the pockets does have a hole in it, but you can easily fix it with some simply sewing, so it's not a big deal.

To win this winter coat, leave a comment on this post by midnight tonight. I will choose a winner by I will ship it to the winner on 12/30.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Winner of Apt 9 Belted Dress - Christie!

Sorry I didn't get this posted earlier this morning! I am leaving town today for 7 days and was doing last minute packing early this morning while finishing last minute tasks for work.

Today's winner of the Apt 9 pink, white and black belted dress is Christie!

Congrats Christie! I will ship your item on 12/30 and feel free to comment for a chance to win any of the last three items being posted this week.

Don't forget today's giveaway - a black and gray lightweight sweater! Coming up Thursday and Friday I'll have two size 3x/26/28 WINTER COATS!

12 Days of Christmas Giveaway - Gray and Black Sweater

This lightweight sweater is a 26/28 from Lane Bryant and is seriously so comfy. Although, I'm normally not a fan of horizontal stripes, this sweater never made me feel like I looked bigger with it on. It has very forgiving material. The color on it is a light heather gray and a darker gray/almost black (looks black in picture). The V-neck is flattering and is deep enough you will probably want to layer a tank underneath it.

To win, comment on this post by midnight tonight. Winner will be choosen by I will ship to winner on 12/30.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Winner of the Dark Wash Jeans

The winner of the dark wash Lane Bryant straight leg jeans is Sarah!

Congrats Sarah! I will ship them out with your other items you've won (don't shoot me, I haven't gotten to the post office in a couple days....oh, holidays!)

Have a good Tuesday everyone! And don't forget to take a gander at today's giveaway - a multi-colored belted dress!

12 Days of Christmas Giveaway - Belted Pink, White, and Black Dress

This dress has been a staple in my wardrobe! I'm finally admitting it's just way too big. It is Apt 9 brand from Kohls, size 3X (24/26). It comes with a wide, elastic belt that cinches at your natural waist, leaving a nice A-line. On me (I'm 6'0") it hit at knee length.

I always got a ton of compliments on this one. I would wear it with tights and mid-calf black boots or sometimes just the boots sans tights if it was on the warmer side out. I always wore it with something covering my ankles since I have tattoos to cover at work, but I'm sure it would look darling with flats or some booties.

Comment by midnight tonight and I will pick a winner via I will ship this item to the winner on 12/30.

Monday, December 19, 2011

I Can't Stop Eating Holiday Treats!

What is wrong with me? I turn down a Krispy Kreme this morning only to shove two cookies in my mouth at lunch. I don't eat my carrots at lunch only to unwrap a Ghiradelli peppermint square in my mouth 2 hours later.

Immediately after dinner I gobble down 4 cookies before throwing them in the trash.

What is wrong with me and why can't I resist holiday treats?! 

12 Days of Christmas Giveaway - Dark Wash Jeans

Sorry for the little break over the weekend. I just figured that most people would be busy out and about the weekend before Christmas and not at home commenting on blogs :) But here we are with 5 more days of giveaways this week. Everything posted this week will be mailed on 12/30 when I return home from my holiday travel. Sorry for the delay, but I hope you all understand!

Today's item is a pair of dark wash Lane Bryant straight leg jeans. Size 26 (fit more like a 24 on me b/c of the slim fit). I seriously loved these jeans I got last year. So much so in fact when the 28s got to big I ended up searching high and low for the next size down. The 28s are long gone, off to Goodwill, but here I have the second pair I owned for you.

The look a bit more forgiving in the photo, but I assure you these are straight leg / slim fit. They were a bit short on me (I'm 6'0") so I wore them like cropped jeans (or just ignored they were too short). I hope the new owner will love these jeans as much as I did!

Comment by midnight tonight for a chance to win them. Again, they will be shipped on 12/30.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Diary of an overweight runner - 3 weeks till Disney!

The Disney Half Marathon is now less than 3 weeks away (20 days to be exact) and I realized I haven't talked about my training much since this post almost a month ago. Since then I have done a 10 miler and as of today a 12 miler with a few 8 milers thrown in. A few notes on the last few week's worth of runs.

10 miles
Two weeks ago I set out for 10 miles. Honestly, it wasn't the worst. I was familiar with the trail and a pre-mappped my route, which was out and back, so I knew exactly where I was going. I had a little mental self-concious thing with this speed walker who I would pass when I jogged and then she would pass me when I walked and when she was in front of me she KEPT LOOKING BACK AT ME. C'mon trail etiquette police, isn't that totally rude to keep looking back at someone?! So I hit about 2-3 miles in the middle of my run a little too hard trying to pass her a few times, which is my own damn fault, but it also caused me to need to walk the last mile or so. I still finished 10 miles in approximately 2:34 - well within the time limit for Disney.

However, about an hour after my 10 mile run I got what I can only assume was a migraine. We're talking laid out on the couch, can't move, nausea inducing migraine. I often get headaches after I run, but I've never in my life (even outside of running) had a migraine like that before. It was so bad I got physically sick. All I could do for 4 hours is lay in the dark with the TV on mute and a cold wash cloth on my face and neck.

I'm pretty confident it wasn't a hydration issue since the week leading up to the run I was nailing hydration with 130 ounces the Friday before the run. I also carried about 25 ounces with me and drank 80 ounces in the hours after the run. I did decide to try a new routine the next long run.

8 miles
This was a good run. I was able to pretty much keep my 1/2 mile run, 1/4 mile walk intervals up and averaged approximately a 15 minute mile. I also had no headache after this run! I changed my routine and I hope this solves the issue going forward. Normally, I would just get up, get dressed, grab a peanut butter sandwich and immediately go out the door the mornings of my run. Last week; however, I got up about 30 minutes before I wanted to get dressed, had a cup of coffee, a glass of water and "woke up" before getting ready and having breakfast before leaving. It seemed to help because no headache last week or this week.

12 miles
Today was 12 miles and let me tell you I was NOT looking forward to it. Earlier this week I had an allergic reaction to amoxicillin and my run schedule got off pushing this run to Sun instead of Sat. Even though I got to sleep in yesterday, something about doing a very long run on a Sunday is not fun. I think my mental attitude really threw me off. I could not keep up with my 0.5/0.25 intervals even a few miles in, so I went to 0.25. Around mile 6 I hit a wall and was just kind of done. 6 miles into a 12 mile run is really early to hit a wall! I walked a lot between miles 6 & 7, ran normally miles 8 & 9 and probably less than mile 10. Then I straight up walked the last two miles. My time still came in at approximately 3:01 - hallelujah that is still 15 min per mile and way under the Disney time cap, but part of me still felt defeated. Sometimes, I feel I can just walk faster than my tired jogging shuffle where my feet are barely leaving the ground takes me. My feet hurt the last 5+ miles, I have blisters and my water bottle leaked all down my back. But it's done and now it's onto taper...oh taper how I love thee.

Fastest 5K time
So y'all don't think I just complain all the time, I'm gonna tell you about my fastest 5K time, which was an unexpected surprise since I haven't really cared about my overall speed this training cycle. Last Tuesday I worked from home because I had a terrible cough and was sick of hacking all over my co-workers. So, I took the opportunity to do my run on my lunch break. The weather was perfect - chilly and just rained. The stars aligned and I was able to run over a mile straight TWICE during my run around the neighborhood. Once I realized I was kicking major ass, I decided to make that run my fastest 5K time. I ended up doing 3.1 in 41.47, which beat my August 5K time of 44.29, and walked very little of the run. Success!

So, 20 days and I'll be a 3X half-marathoner. I want a 13.1 sticker with Mickey Mouse ears around it. Surely they make those, right?

Weigh in - Wordless (nearly) edition

Last Week's weight: 239.4
This Weeks weight: 245.2

5.8 pounds GAINED

I have no words.....

Friday, December 16, 2011

12 Days of Christmas Giveaway - Sequence tank and Peacock shirt

If you want more background on the 12 Days of Christmas Giveaway series I am running, please see this post.

I missed yesterday's giveaway so today the giveaway gets double fun! I'm posting two items that today's winner will receive. So let's get to it.

First I have a Lane Bryant 3/4 sleeve graphic cotton shirt. It's a true purple with a peacock on it - this shirt is comfy and fun! I've worn it as a casual top and dressed it up a little and worn it out. The first photo does not show the accurate color, but the close up does show the true purple color of the shirt. This is size 26/28.

Second, I have a white sequence tank top that I've only worn a few times. I bought this after I started losing weight and I should have bought a size down, but alas my brain wasn't there yet so I ended up with a super cute basic piece that I only wore 4-5 times. It is not missing any sequence and is in great shape. This also is a size 26/28 from Lane Bryant.

So comment once and be entered to win both tops! Entries will be accepted through midnight tonight and the winner will be posted Saturday morning.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Black cowl neck dress winner!

I've had a very weird 24 hours, which involved an allergic reaction to amoxicillin, so I apologize for not getting the winner of the black, cowl neck dress until now. But I'm back and here it is! I'll return tomorrow with a new doubled up giveaway since I got behind today.

So the winner is.......Joanna! Congrats Joanna! Email me at emtucky [at] gmail [dot] com or DM me on Twitter @emtucky.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Blog on Fire Award - 7 things you may not know about me

This is a post I've needed to do for almost 2 weeks now. I feel bad. But here it is. Better late, then never they say, right?

A few weeks ago Marisol gave me a super sweet, awesome award and shout out on her blog. She gave me The Blog on Fire award.

The rules of this award are to pass this on to someone who has been doing incredibly well and then write 7 things about myself that you may not know.

1. My younger brother died in 2006 when he was 18. The official cause of death was from alcohol poisoning even though his BAC was tested at a 0.08 - just at the legal limit.

2. In college, my friends and I would take epic road trips across the country to go to concerts and see our favorite bands. I've lost count how many times I've seen my favorite band, but I'd estimate it is in the 100s.

3. I am a grade-A people pleaser. I will make myself miserable to ensure others are happy.

4. I was kicked out of Girl Scouts in 7th grade.

5. I've been to Australia and New Zealand, but I've never been to Europe.

6. I hate running in the rain and refuse to do it, but I love going for runs just after it rains when it is cloudy and damp outside.

7. I hate when people don't follow the rules or adhere to a set policy, yet sometimes I am not the best rule follower.

BONUS: I hardly ever follow a recipe to a T - I often "eyeball" measurements and add or substitute ingredients on a whim. Sometimes, this does not work out well....

I'm passing this onto my girl, Cyndi at RunRollRepeat. If you don't follow her, you should know she's had quite a year which included an accident on the job, a career change from trucker to nanny, and her husband having 2 surgeries from said accident. Through it all, she's kept up on her Weight Watchers meetings, and blogging. She tells it how it is and doesn't take any excuses!

I have to say a huge THANKS to Marisol - I really appreciate the love and I enjoyed sharing these things with everyone!

Oh, really Groupon? 64% Off Weight-loss Hot Pants

The first thing I do when my eyes open in the morning is to check my phone. You know, get the low down on what I missed while I (and everyone else) was sleeping for the last 7 hours.

Imagine my confusion (I thought I was dreaming a hilarious satirical, SNL inspired, dream) when I read this subject line: 64% Off Pair of Weight-Loss Hot Pants from Zaggora

Orly, Groupon?

The email:

Click for larger image

When you view the deal, it gets better. In short, it claims that these pants will bless the wearer with dropping 2 dress sizes JUST BY WEARING THE PANTS. Oh, if it was only that easy....

An excerpt:
Zaggora's hip-hugging HotPants slim bodies by up to two jeans sizes in two weeks using a comfortable bioceramic material that emits infrared rays to help wearers naturally and efficiently amp up weight-loss regimens. The shorts' Celu-Lite technology smoothes thighs and other dimple-prone areas by galvanizing the skin's internal zamboni to promote a deep warming of body tissues and promote lymphatic drainage. This process boosts sweating by up to 80% and aids in eliminating the toxins responsible for cellulite.
So in summary...these shorts are going to emit infrared rays into my body, promote drainage from my lymph-nodes and make me sweat 80% more?! NO THANK YOU!

I can't believe ANYONE would ever fall for these outlandish claims that by simply wearing a pair of shorts you can lose 2 dress sizes. The only thing I've come across to do this is eat less, move more. Simple science.

Have you seen any too-good-to-be-true diet or weight-loss products lately? Please share so we can all chuckle at ridiculousness.

12 Days of Christmas Giveaway - My Favorite Black Dress

If you want more background on the 12 Days of Christmas Giveaway series I am running, please see this post.

What a winner this dress is! I bought it for a job interview two years ago .By the way, I aced and scored the job.

It is a cotton cowl neck 3/4 sleeve, knee length, black dress. Beside the job interview, I think I wore it once or twice before it was too big - what a disappointment because this dress is simple, but fashionable.

It is a Laney Bryant 26/28 with a belt to match. I always thought of swapping out the black belt for a red or even leopard print belt, which you could totally do!

To win, leave a comment on this post by midnight tonight! Don't let this one get passed up!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

12 Days of Christmas Giveaway - Sparkly Red Dress

If you want more background on the 12 Days of Christmas Giveaway series I am running, please see this post.

The 3rd item is a festive red sparkle 3/4 sleeve dress made by ellos (a Woman Within brand). The color in the first picture is off and it is genuinely "red" and not the burnt orange shown in the photos. The second photo is a bit better show of actual color. The dress is made out of Acrylic, Nylon and Metallic. It is a soft, light sweater material.

This dress is seriously so comfy! And versatile! I wore it to work, to parties and to holidays with the fam. It is a size 2X, which is a 26/28 in ellos sizing. The V-neck and detailing at the waist made this dress very flattering on me (I am pear shaped). Paired with some black tights and mid-calf boots, this used to be a staple in my winter wardrobe.

And now it can be yours! Comment on this post by midnight tonight for your chance to win!

Winners for boots and jean jacket!

Let's get to the first two winners of the 12 Days of Giveaways! The winner of the wide calf boots is Elisha!
The winner of the jean jacket is Holly G!

Congrats ladies! Please email me at emtucky at gmail dot com to give me your address!

Monday, December 12, 2011

12 Days of Christmas Giveaway - Lane Bryant Jean Jacket

If you want more background on the 12 Days of Christmas Giveaway series I am running, please see this post.

Today's giveaway item is a button up jean jacket from Lane Bryant, size 26/28. It gives the wearer a good, flattering shape (flares out at the hemline a bit) and has brass color buttons. The jacket is several years old, but I actually barely wore this as I have abnormally long arms and the sleeves were always too short on me. It is a good quality jean jacket and earlier this fall I actually wore it as an outerwear jacket for a few weeks before I found a new jacket.

If you want to win this item, leave a comment by midnight tonight and I will choose a winner via

Sunday, December 11, 2011

12 Days of Christmas Giveaway - Wide Calf Knee High Boots

Although I've given away several items and taken loads upon loads of clothes to Goodwill, I still have a few items hanging around my closet from my largest size - mostly 3X and 26/28. We're talking winter coats, dresses, boots, jeans - all just hanging around my closet with no one to wear them.

Since it's a great time of year to gift someone a gently used winter coat or pair of boots (read: it's downright COLD), I figured why not make it fun and give away each item still lingering in my closet one by one on my blog in a holiday giveaway of sorts I'm very originally titling "12 Days of Christmas Giveaway." Much more interesting than taking another load to Goodwill, yes?

So for the next 12 days I will post an item from my closet that no longer fits. Each day I will accept comments from readers interested in winning the item either for themselves or feel free to pick stuff up for your mom, sister, aunt, cousin, friend (just as long as it goes to someone you know for free).

If there are multiple comments, I will use a random number generator (like to choose the winner. I'll ship it out to you the next day and wa-lah you have a new gently used, new to you item to wear!

To kick it off, my first item is actually a pair of boots that were gifted to me last year by fellow kick-ass Fitblogger, Cyndi.

They are gray suede material that hit me (I'm 6'0") just a few inches below my knee. They are a flat, size 11, wide calf boot (21" when measured on the outside of the boot), with elastic at the shaft. Best of all, they practically look new. Not to mention, they are super cute (if you haven't noticed, Cyndi is quite fashion conscious).

The goods:

Leave a comment by midnight TOMORROW, Dec. 12th (Ok, I guess technically it would be midnight on Tuesday) to be entered in winning these! And check back at 8 am tomorrow for the next item in the series!

Weigh-in - back in the 230s

Last Week's weight: 241.2
This Weeks weight: 239.4

1.8 pounds LOST

I'm not sure how I did it with all these cookies in my life at the moment. I seriously ate about 4 cookies for breakfast on Friday, and last night at a cookie swap party I ate probably a dozen cookies for dinner.

Perhaps I have discovered a new cookie meal replacement diet plan! I could make millions!

Seriously though, I ate pretty sensibly otherwise and got 14 miles of training in this week. Next week is the big 12 mile run and the race is now less than 4 weeks away! EEK!

One things for sure, I'm determined to never see the 240s again. I have no excuses now that work is slowed down, and I only have 9 work days left in 2011. I should be able to focus on eating right and doing Every. Single. Training. Run. now until the race.

Let's do this!

Friday, December 9, 2011

Best photo of the year - #resound11 - Day 9

As normal, I dropped off the #resound11 wagon after two posts. I stare at a computer all day, so when I get home I rarely want to be on the computer. Hopefully since the next 3 weeks will be slower at work, I'll feel less stressed when I get home. When I received today's prompt, I immediately wanted to share some photos I took at the gym yesterday. Feel free to check out the project here.

Prompt #9: Today, please post your best photo of the year. It doesn't have to be the best technically, it doesn't have to be the best visually, but it should be a photo that you consider the best. Does it have special meaning? Is it of a significant event or moment? Share it with us!

In a rare moment of emptiness in the gym locker room last night, I borrowed the full length mirror for a little vanity:

For comparison, a photo taken in February 2011 after the Mercedes Half Marathon:

I consider the photos from the gym last night my "best" because it really shows my progress from even 10 months ago. Looking back at December 2010 to today, I've lost about 55 lbs. Even though I always feel like I could have done better and even though I've struggled over the last 10 weeks, I've made progress. I may have lost and gained the same 5 lbs a few times this year, but I haven't moved backwards in any way. I know I will get to a healthy weight, it may just take me longer than I would have expected.

I've been working on battling my obesity for almost 4 years now. I haven't done any crash or fad diets, eaten only 1200 calories a day, or exercised for 3 hours a day. I've done this at my pace. I've taken baby steps to improve my life and my health. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Weigh in - a step in the right direction

Last week's weight - 243.8

This week's weight - 241.2

2.6 lbs LOST

88.2 total lost since June 2010

Honestly, I didn't try too hard this week so this loss is fine with me. I mean I didn't go crazy, but I finished off the Thanksgiving leftovers (including two pieces of pie and some bread pudding) and I skipped my run on Thursday because I got to the gym and didn't have any socks.

I did my 10 miler yesterday, it went ok but I had a major migraine (which I've never had before) all afternoon. I'm going to try and do a separate blog post on that.

Tonight, is a cookie swap party. And I have a 2nd one next week. If I can just sneak into the 230s this month, I'll be happy. I know it's not feasible for myself to set some huge goal of 10 or 15 pounds for the month of December. So my goal is to simply get in the 230s and stay there this time.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Vices - #resound11 - Day 2

I'm going to attempt to participate in a project this month hosted by @Jaemie, called #resound11. Each day there will be a prompt to reflect on 2011 and anticipate 2012. Feel free to check out the project here.

Prompt #2: Did you slip back into any old habits that you wish you hadn't? Did you gain any new habits that you wish you would have walked away from? Did you discover the evils of Nutella? 'Fess up ... we won't tell.

Let's face it, I have a food addiction. I love cooking and baking. I enjoy celebrating with food. I eat when I'm bored. I eat when I'm upset or stressed.

Up until recently, I've been able to control this addiction for the last year and a half. It took me awhile to get the hang of it, but I managed my addiction enough to lose over 80 lbs in the last 18 months.

However, there is one food that controls me more than any other food. It's hard to release it's control over me, and when I'm under it's control I am hopeless.


I will eat sweets until I get sick. I never used to get sick. So I would just eat a dozen chocolate chip cookies without thinking. I'd finish off a pint of Ben and Jerry's in less than 30 minutes. Now if I did that, I'm pretty sure I'd be sick.

For the last 8-10 weeks, I've been skating on thin ice with sugar and sweets. Let's use tonight as an example.

After work, I decided I wanted to make something sweet. Something with chocolate. Now, I don't keep sweets in the house for the reason that I would eat the whole package in just a few days so in scouring the cabinets I find a fudge recipe on the back of the baking cocoa package. Perfect!

I remember why I've never made any sort of candy or fudge from scratch.

For the life of me I could not get the mixture to heat to the right temperature. I let it boil for a good 20 minutes, at least, and I gave up right around 210 degrees. I know, I know - I'm impatient. But I was tasting along the way and the mixture started to taste burnt, so I thought maybe just the thermometer was broken.

Now I have a 9 x 9 pan of hot fudge syrup.

Even though it turned out nothing like fudge, I still ate about a pound of the result - a hot fudge syrup of sorts. By the tablespoonful. By dips and licks with my finger. With a spoonful of peanut butter (twice). By freezing it in a cupcake liner with a dollop of peanut butter.

I basically ate hot fudge syrup straight from the jar (pan). This is what a sugar addiction (vice) does to a person.

When I started really loosing a lot of weight I was more conscious about my white refined sugar intake. No, I wasn't perfect. I had an occasional cupcake. But I ate plain greek yogurt instead of the flavored kind. I substituted fruit for baked goods. I didn't bring pie or bread pudding home from Thanksgiving dinner.

Lately though, I've started to slide back into my old habits. The worst part is I don't want to do much about it right now. I have two holiday cookie swaps coming up and I'm planning to fully participate. But at some point, if I want to lose these last few pounds I'm going to have to break my sugar addiction again.

I'll let you know when that happens, because you probably won't want to be around me when I go through detox.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

One word - #resound11 Day 1

I'm going to attempt to participate in a project this month hosted by @Jaemie, called #resound11. Each day there will be a prompt to reflect on 2011 and anticipate 2012. Feel free to check out the project here.

Prompt # 1: What is one word to describe your 2011? Why does that word sum up your year?

I'm going to have to throw out the word "restless" to describe my year. As I was thinking back on my year, I realized how much has happened in 2011. I walked my 2nd half marathon, I started a new job, my mom suffered a brain aneurysm - and survived, my sister had her second child, I've been working increasingly long hours at work, I began running, and now I am training for my 3rd half marathon.

It seems like no matter what changes life throws at me, I am always looking towards the next big event - never living in the moment.

Definition of restless from the dictionary:

1: lacking or denying rest
2: continuously moving
3: characterized by or manifesting unrest especially of mind

This definitely spoke to me: "2: continuously moving"

I very rarely stop and focus on what is actually happening, right then at that one moment in my life. Even right now as I train for my next half marathon, I am already thinking about what big events I will do next year. Will I dive into the triathlon world? Will I do another half marathon? What about Bay to Breakers? My mind is always in planning mode.

I think living in the moment can be hard for a lot of us. We make plans, set expectations and can oftentimes be let down when something doesn't work out in our favor. Living in the moment is definitely something to think about and actively try to master for myself.